Are We All Bitches?

A somewhat uncharacteristic (or perhaps I should say unexpected) remark by one of my chums, in response to a remark made by another chum within our usual FB banter group, evoked a couple of thoughts this morning:

1. Why do we, particularly women-folk, bitch about other women-folk?
2. Why do we, as human beings, judge other human beings?

Now, I suspect there’ll be some of you vehemently refuting the second point, but I reckon when it comes down to it, as Stanford in Sex and the City so unabashedly asserted: "We all judge. That's our hobby. Some people do arts and crafts. We judge."

So, unless you're a crocheting or papier mache whizz, you judge. And even if you are a devotee of the ways of Zen (to which my aforementioned friend has recently converted) and have renounced cynicism, negativity and bitchiness, you would undoubtedly have found it impossible to cast off one of the most defining traits of humanity - our ability and inclination to make judgements. Even as you, perched upon your moral high horse, denounce such a posit, you are judging me for judging you.

I think where one finds peace within oneself is to acknowledge that there's nothing inherently wrong with judging. To "judge" is to form an opinion or conclusion, so where's the harm in that? However, one who is deemed to be "judgmental" is inclined to making judgments, especially of the moral or personal nature. So you cannot be pious without defining what it is to be un-pious, positive without defining negativeness and so on, but shame on you if you should make it a life-determining quest to pass judgement on others.

Which leads me to the "Why" of it. Why do we bitch and why do we judge? Is it to raise ourselves above others so that we may feel some (false) sense of superiority? It it said that most humans think themselves better than they truly are, so perhaps, those derisions which we cast upon others are simply manifestations of how we perceive ourselves, because we are, by nature, unjustifiably superlicious beings. And since it is faintly arbitrary to declare that "we are intelligent", (because really, how intelligent IS intelligent) hence we unconsciously seek out benchmarks, unfortunate, unsuspecting targets, against which to hurl insults and measure our self-worth.

I know I know, what the hell are you rambling on about? This is such a boring and dry discourse for a Saturday morning. I'll stop now and make myself breakfast shortly.

But to finish, as my chum so aptly pronounced - we should all have some positive thoughts going for 2010 rather than harp on negative ones!

Or, if you prefer a more verbose yet less eloquently delivered mantra for what matters in life-

Watching you look at that rainbow makes her realise that the simplest smallest things in life that bypass most people are meant to be enjoyed... like this... like how that small smile played on your lips as you take in that sight of that rainbow... without a care in the world... just enjoying it...

Here's the recipe for the day (where's my segue??)

Teriyaki Salmon with Asian Greens and Brown Rice

Serves 2

2 salmon fillets, pin-boned, skin on

4 tablespoons mirin

4 tablespoons sake

4 tablespoons soy

2 inch grated ginger

3 tablespoons sugar

one bunch Asian greens (eg Chinese broccoli, bok choy)

Brown rice

Directions

Marinade salmon in mirin, sake, soy, ginger and sugar for at least an hour. Heat some oil in a pan, shake marinade off salmon and fry skin side down for a couple of minutes. Carefully turn fillets over and fry for another couple of minutes until flesh is browned. Meanwhile, blanch vegetables in a pot of boiling water, then refresh with cold water and set aside. Pour marinade into pan, add some water, reduce heat, cover and simmer until fish is cooked. Be careful not to overcook it. There are few things worse than parched fish. Remove fillets from pan and allow the sauce to thicken. Serve fish with rice and asian greens.